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  • Flat Sheet ~81" x 96"
  • Fitted Sheet ~ 54" x 75"
  • Pillowcase ~ 20" x 30"
  • Flat Sheet ~ 90" x 102"
  • Fitted Sheet ~ 60" x 80"
  • Pillowcase ~ 20" x 30"
  • Flat Sheet ~ 108" x 102"
  • Fitted Sheet ~ 78" x 80"
  • Pillowcase ~ 20" x 40"
Cal King:
  • Flat Sheet ~ 108" x 102"
  • Fitted Sheet ~ 72" x 84"
  • Pillowcase ~ 20" x 40"
Fabric: 55% Cotton/45% Polyester
Care: Machine Wash
Made in: India

In the box:

  • (1) 800 Thread Count 6-Piece Striped Sheet Set ~ includes (1) flat sheet, (1) fitted sheet and (4) pillowcases

Use this: For your most challenging expeditions.

Don't use this: For your most challenging soap scum.

The genie living inside this item is named: Bagpuss.

Rejected names for this product include: Spoon. (Already taken.)

For its audition to appear on the site, this product used a monologue from: Pack on a hot tin roof.

Material: 600 Denier Polyester
Weight: 1.8 lbs

Main Compartment Interior - 9"L x 4"W x 12"H
Overall - 10"L x 5.5"W x 14.5"H

Made In: China

In the Box:

(1) Yukon Tactical Scout Sling Pack

14 things scooped up by the common barn owl

1. mouse

2. shrew

3. thistle

4. fish?

5. maybe a smaller bird

6. some guy's beer

7. drone

8. a hat

9. possibly a Fiat 500

10. a child's shovel

11. toupee, perhaps

12. oh, a vole

13. pine cone

14. hood ornament

Pliny The Elder's Recipe for Cabernet Sauvignon

- Capture a lion

- If you don't have access to fresh lions, a salmon will do

- Is it getting warm in here

- Turn the salmlion into a grape using sheer willpower or magic

- Say, does that sound like lava pooling in the backyard

- Add bird hearts or something equally absurd

- Oh crap it was lava after all

  • Blend: 78% Cabernet Sauvignon, 11% Petit Verdot, 6% Malbec, 3% Syrah, 1% Cabernet Franc, 1% Merlot
  • Appellation: Napa Valley
  • Barrel Regime: French and American oak (25% new) for 24 months
  • Total Acidity: 5.98 g/L
  • pH: 3.7
  • Alcohol: 13.5%

Remember how little Ricky Schroder had a train he could actually ride going through his house? And remember what a big jerk he ended up being on NYPD Blue? Or maybe he didn't. We don't know, we never watched it. But if he was, it was definitely because of that train.

Kids don't need ride-on trains. Kids need trains with real smoke and sounds and lights that they can watch go round and round the base of a Christmas tree piled high with pristinely wrapped boxes filled with all the other crap that will make them believe they are special somehow and that the world owes them something.

MOTA Classic Train Set
Batteries: Requires 4 "AA" (not included)
Track Configurations: 50" x 70" consisting of 12 curved + 4 straight tracks
50" x 50"
Safety: Meets or Exceeds the US Standard Consumer Safety Specification for Toys (ASTM F963)

In the Box:

MOTA Classic Train Set includes:

  • (1) Locomotive
  • (3) Cargo
  • (4) Straight Tracks
  • (12) Curved Tracks

The Grim Reaper is coming for us all. And there are only two ways you can play it. One: get really good at chess. Like, REALLY good. So good you can win money from those guys who sit at the boards in the park, like, three times out of five. Because that's what it's gonna take to beat the Grim Reaper, people. He plays like a Russian.

Or... you could just get some really cool luggage and have it with you at all times. The Grim Reaper shows up, you'll just say "Hey! Great! Totes ready to go here!" and then you'll point at your luggage and snap your fingers. He'll be offended, of course, and he'll tell you he can't possibly carry your luggage. And then what will you do? You'll look him in the eye and snap your fingers, pointing at your luggage with your other hand.

Naturally, the Grim Reaper will storm off in a rage to complain about how insulting behavior. And do you know what that means? That means you got more life! All thanks to some nice luggage that looks pretty good as your hauling it around.

Or you can try to go all Highlander on everything and stay alive the longest. But if you do that... you know... Zeist... Mario Van Peebles... so basically it's better to just use the luggage method.

  • Dimensions ~ 20"x14"x10"+2"
  • Weight ~ 8.3 lbs
  • Dimensions ~ 24"x17"x11.25"+2"
  • Weight ~ 9.3 lbs
  • Dimensions ~ 27.2"x19"x12"+2"
  • Weight ~ 11.2 lbs

In the Box:

  • (1) Sharper Image 19672 Shevron 3 PC Hardside Luggage Set - Pick Color

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