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All-new features available on the HP 15F100DXREF notebook

-Saxtastrophe?: Automatically plays a sax solo every time you receive an email bearing bad news. Now enriched with Blues? technology.

-StoatFindr: Hot new app that lets you find single stoats in your area

-Ketchup Nozzle: Sometimes you want ketchup

-What does this extra screw go to?? At last, an answer to your most urgent DYI question.

-Entropy Pro?: Ergonomic trackpad; right-clicking punches a hole in time

-Modesty Drape: Protect the elderly from unsightly USB ports

-Keyboard Ghost?: Proprietary paranormal technology that peppers your business correspondence with filthy language. Don't actually install Keyboard Ghost.

Processor: AMD A8-6410 2.0GHz Accelerated Processor
(Turbo up to 2.4GHz)
2MB L2 Cache
Processor Core: Quad-Core
Screen Size: 15.6"
Aspect Ratio: 16:9
Resolution: 1366 x 768
Display Type: HD BrightView LED-backlit Touchscreen
Graphics: AMD Radeon HD 8210 graphics
Memory: 4GB DDR3L SDRAM (1 DIMM)
Hard Drive: 500GB 5400RPM hard drive
Optical Drive: SuperMulti DVD burner
Network: 10/100 BASE-T Ethernet
Wireless: 1x1 802.11b/g/n WLAN
Bluetooth: No
Card Reader: Multi-Format SD Card Reader
Battery: 3-Cell Lithium-Ion
Sound: HD Audio with stereo speakers
Webcam: Yes
Microphone: Integrated
Keyboard: Full-Size Island-Style with Numeric Keypad
Pointing Device: Touchpad supporting multi-touch gestures without on/off button
Fingerprint Reader: No
I/O Ports:
USB 3.0: 2
USB 2.0: 1
RJ-45: 1
Combo Headphone/Mic Jack: 1
Operating System:
Genuine Windows 8.1 (64-bit)
45W AC Adapter
3-Cell 31WHr 2.8Ah Lithium-Ion Battery
15.18"(W) x 0.97"(H) x 10.16"(D)
5.67 lbs

In the box:

  • HP 15-F100DX 15.6" Touchscreen Notebook, AMD A8-6410 Quad-Core 2.0GHz, 500GB SATA, 4GB DDR3, 802.11n, Win8.1
  • 3-cell Lithium-Ion battery
  • AC Adapter

Nu Tunz

My Body Is A Stack Of Pancakes And Your Body Is Very Nice
by Saxophone Memory Quilt

Surfboard Problems
by J Nutbunch

Put A Pillow Under My Soul
by Jane Smagemaker

Riot In The Fridge
by Crumbles The Deathrobot

Party Like It's 2851
by Shirt

Beethoven's Lost Symphony
by The Endless Blood Goodtimes Orchestra

Snake Blanket
by Very Useful Piping Mechanism

Input/Output Others

  • MHL (Mobile High-definition Link) Front/Rear: 1 Rear Input Supported MHL version Incorporates MHL 2 Maximum current 900 mA
Amplifier Features
  • 4 Ohm/8 Ohm Switching: Yes (6 ohm)
  • Advanced Auto Volume: Yes
  • Night Mode: Yes
  • Number of Amp channels: 5 channels
  • OP processing: Yes
  • Speaker Impedance: 6-16 Ohms
  • Speaker Selector: A / Off
  • Speaker Terminal: Screw
  • Sub Woofer X' Over: 17 points (40 - 200 Hz)
Amplifier Power
  • (6Ohms, 1kHz, 1ch driven) THD: 0.9%
  • (6Ohms, 1kHz, 2ch driven) THD: 1%
  • 6Ohms, 1kHz, 1ch driven: 145 W
  • 6Ohms, 1kHz, 2ch driven: 105 W + 105 W
  • 6ohms, 20-20kHz, 2ch driven: 90 W + 90 W / (0.09%)
DCAC Features
  • Band: 6
  • DCAC: D.C.A.C.
  • Mic: Mono

Audio Features

Decoding Format

  • DTS / DTS-ES (Matrix6.1 / Discrete6.1): Yes/Yes
  • DTS 96/24/ DTS Neo:6: Yes (DTS 96/24)
  • DTS HD MA/ DTS HD HR: Yes/Yes
  • Dolby Digital EX/ Dolby Digital: Yes/Yes
  • Dolby Dual Mono: Yes
  • Dolby Prologic/II /IIx /IIz: Yes (Prologic, Prologic II)
  • Dolby TruHD/Dolby Digital +: Yes/Yes
  • LPCM (2CH/5.1CH/7.1CH) thru HDMI: Yes/Yes
Sound Field
  • 2ch: Yes
  • A.F.D. Auto: Yes
  • Analog Direct: Yes
  • HD-D.C.S.: Yes
  • Hall (large hall): Yes
  • Headphone 2ch: Yes
  • Headphone Direct: Yes
  • Jazz Club: Yes
  • Live Concert: Yes
  • Multi Stereo: Yes
  • Neo:6 Cinema: Yes
  • Neo:6 Music: Yes
  • PLII Movie: Yes
  • PLII Music: Yes
  • PLIIx Movie: Yes
  • Portable Audio Enhancer: Yes
  • Pure Direct: Yes
  • Sound Field Link: Yes
  • Sports: Yes
  • Stadium: Yes
  • Auto Tuning: Yes (OSD)
  • Direct Tuning: Yes (OSD)
  • Preset Channel (FM/AM): 30 FM, 30 AM
  • Station Name: Yes



  • Auto Standby: Yes
  • Digital Input Assign: Yes
  • Display: 10 digit dot matrix
  • Pin Jack: Nickel
  • Power Consumption: 200 W
  • Power Consumption (Power Stand By): 0.3 W
  • Power Requirement: 120 V 60 Hz
  • Sleep Timer: Yes (up to 2 hours)
  • iPod Browsing with System (via USB): USB works with: iPhone 5s, iPhone 5c, iPhone 5, iPhone 4s, iPhone 4, iPhone 3GS, iPhone 3G, iPod touch (2nd through 5th generation), iPod classic, and iPod nano (3rd through 7th generation).

Inputs and Outputs

Audio Inputs

  • Analog Audio In: 4
  • Coaxial: 1
  • Optical In: 2
Audio Outputs
  • Headphone Out: Yes (Gold)
  • Pre Out (Subwoofer): 2
Other Inputs and Outputs
  • USB: Supported formats: MP3 (MPEG 1 Audio Layer-3): 32 kbps - 320 kbps, VBR WMA: 48 kbps - 192 kbps AAC: 48 kbps - 320 kbps WAV: 8 kHz - 48 kHz, 16 bit PCM
Speaker Outputs
  • Center: Yes
  • Front A (L/R): Yes
  • Surround (L/R): Yes
Video Inputs
  • AV In: Including Front AV: 2
  • HDMI In: 4
Video Outputs
  • Composite Video Out: Inc. Monitor Out: 1
  • HDMI Out: 1

Video Features

A/V Sync Features

  • A/V SYNC: Yes (Fixed)
  • A/V Sync Sampling Frequency: 48 kHz
  • A/V Sync Time (msec): 60 msec
  • 3D over HDMI: Yes
  • Audio Return Channel: Yes
  • Audio Widget: Yes
  • BRAVIA? SYNC? (CEC Control): Yes: One-Touch Play, System Audio Control, System Power Off
  • HDMI? video output capability: 4K, 1080p, 1080/24p Deep Color (up to 36 bit) Triluminos Color (xvYCC)
  • Power Off Pass Through: Yes

Weight and Measurements

Weight and Measurements

  • Receiver Dimension (WxHxD inches): 17 x 6 1/4 x 13 (430 x 156 x 329.4 mm)
  • Receiver Weight (pound): 16 lb 13 oz (7.6 kg)

In the box:

  • Sony STRDH550B 725W 5.2-Channel 4K A/V Receiver
  • Remote Control

Better than Tree of Knives

Made better with the addition of rainbows:


Carbon emissions


Bags of Texas Air


Arson hearings


Moon time

50 Shades of Grey

Bad lists of things



The final three seconds before death's welcoming embrace

Puppy dog ears

Ty one on.

Hey there, Ty Caton enTycement. I've got a couple questions for you:

Was your father a baker? Because your balanced structure is - wait, no.

Okay, okay, how about this: Hey, baby, I seem to have lost my phone number. Is that a boysenberry in your pocket? Crap, hang on. I'll get this right.

Are you a light switch? Because your blackberry aroma is turning me on!

Do you have a map? Because I am getting lost in your beautiful purple hue.

Was your dad a boxer? Because your lush mouthfeel is a knockout.

I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by YOU. Although since you are a wine, I am admittedly also a little tipsy.

Wait, don't go yet! So, okay, maybe conventional pickup lines don't work. But you get the idea, Ty Caton wine. Here's my last pitch:

Tonight, why don't you pair ME with U?

Still nothing? Eh, you're just playing hard to get.

  • Varietal: 39% Zinfandel, 27% Syrah, 12% Carignane, 8% Petite Sirah, 6% Merlot, 4% Petit Verdot, 4% Barbera
  • Appellation: Sonoma County
  • Alcohol: 14.4%
  • Production: 2471 Cases
  • Vintage: 2013
  • Release Date: February 2015

Dose of Alternate Reality

Buy these books: if you're tired of the same-old boring kid stories with plausible storylines.

Don't buy these books: if you occasionally see little green men that no one else sees. Don't want to stir up any more trouble for yourself.

In 99% of uses, these books don't: make one lick of sense.

In a tell-all biography, it was revealed that these books: were created in a fever-induced haze.

If these books went to Taco Bell, they would order: one of everything on the menu, and then immediately flush it all down the toilet.

Mega Mash-Up Book Bundle
Reading Grade Level: 2nd - 5th
Number of Pages: 96 (per book)
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Nosy Crow / Candlewick Press
Dimensions: 8.4" L x 5.8" W x 0.3" D
About the Author & Illustrator
Nikalas Catlow (Author) and Tim Wesson (Illustrator) write and draw together and laugh a lot. They met when Nikalas, who was working as a designer, thought Tim would be a good illustrator for some books he was working on... and then found out that they lived across the road from each other. One idea led to another, which led to a partnership. They both live in London.
Title ISBN-13
Robots vs. Gorillas in the Desert: 978-0763658731
Romans vs. Dinosaurs on Mars: 978-0763658724
Aliens vs. Mad Scientists Under the Ocean: 978-0763658748
Ancient Egyptians vs. Pirates in a Haunted Museum: 978-0763659011
Trolls vs. Cowboys in the Arctic: 978-0763662714
Spies vs. Giant Slugs in the Jungle: 978-0763659028

In the Box:

  • (1) Mega Mash-Up: Robots vs. Gorillas in the Desert
  • (1) Mega Mash-Up: Romans vs. Dinosaurs on Mars
  • (1) Mega Mash-Up: Aliens vs. Mad Scientists Under the Ocean
  • (1) Mega Mash-Up: Ancient Egyptians vs. Pirates in a Haunted Museum
  • (1) Mega Mash-Up: Trolls vs. Cowboys in the Arctic
  • (1) Mega Mash-Up: Spies vs. Giant Slugs in the Jungle

The End Is Nigh

Even now, the liberal mystics of San Francisco duel with the conservative Chicago School Of Wizardry for dominance over the political and social and interdimensional landscape. What can you, a simple Woot customer, do to avoid being retrograded? Well... nothing, really. But there's a slight chance that buying these T-Fal Cookware items might just help you avoid psychic devolution.

Maybe the unique heat indicator's magical and unexplainable ability to show when the pan is preheated can block the Russet Rays Of Injustice. Maybe the non-stick exterior will deflect the Tenacious Tangerine Twisty-Beams Of Tarvalganado, which are otherwise unstoppable. Maybe the dishwasher-safe nature of the cookware will also help you survive the Dread Dishwasher Of Doormuram, the evil ram-creature who walks between! Between what? WE DARE NOT ASK!!!!

Naturally, there's a slight chance that this magic war is all completely made up and unverifiable by science but we can't sell pans using science, can we? So please, be afraid, panic buy, and enjoy these pans. They might just be the only thing between you and total cosmic dissolution... FOREVER!!!

In the Box:

(1) T-fal Signature Nonstick Thermo-Spot 12 pc. Cookware Set

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