Gladness, Day 4!

Day 4 of March Gladness! For the next two weeks, we're doing our own tournament: all that stuff that makes you feel good.

On the final day of the first round, we're be looking at Guilty Pleasures: that makes you happy, and then makes you feel bad for making you happy. Vote for whatever makes you the gladdest and BE SURE TO PRESS DONE to submit your answers. (The DONE button might be hidden, so be sure to scroll over the survey to get to it.)

To see a bracket, click here. And if you want to discuss, head over here.

March Gladness: Round 1 (Guilty Pleasures Region)

Dimensions: 10.63" L x 13.38" W x 19.5" H
Weight: 34.6 lbs.
Voltage: 115V ~ 60 Hz
Watts: 480 Watts
Cord Length: 70"

In the Box:

  • (1) Haier DE45EKTA 45 Pint Dehumidifier - White

Elite 11.6"

"This has got to be the story of the tournament, Chuck! Just consider all the favorites that tiny Asus State has left in its wake on the march of madness that's taken them to the championship game!"

"It's unbelievable, Chuck. It was unbelievable when they upset Dell U. in the first round, it was unbelievable when they bumped off Lenovo State and UHP, and it's still unbelievable that they're facing off against U. of Apple here in the final. What are the keys to this matchup, Chuck?"

"Apple cannot count out this scrappy little upstart. Throughout this tournament, Chuck, Asus State has shown that it can deliver a strong mobile computing game with a fraction of the budget of the big guys. They're not real powerful, certainly not stylish, but they've got a great touch and they've taken a lot of people by surprise, Chuck."

"And we'll see what other surprises are in store here in the final as we're ready for tip-off! Asus State vs. U. of Apple! And - ooh, that was ugly, Chuck."

"Indeed it was, and now Apple's got another breakaway - oh, wow, this is going to be a brutal game for Asus State, Chuck. And there Apple goes again! Ugh. I don't know if I can watch this."

"Still, they made it to the final, Chuck. Great story."

"Yeah, great story."

Processor: Intel Celeron 1007U (1.5GHz)
2MB Cache
Processor Core: Dual-Core
Screen Size: 11.6"
Aspect Ratio: 16:9
Resolution: 1366 x 768
Display Type: HD LED-backlit Touchscreen
Graphics: Intel HD
Memory: 4GB DDR3 (4GB max)
Hard Drive: 320GB SATA (5400rpm)
Optical Drive: None
Network: 10/100 Fast Ethernet
Wireless: 802.11b/g/n
Bluetooth: v4.0
Card Reader: Multi-Format Card Reader (SD, SDHC, SDXC, MMC)
Battery: 3-Cell 3300 mAh 33WHrs (built-in)
Speakers: Built-in
Sound: SonicMaster
Webcam: HD
Microphone: Integrated
Keyboard: Full-Size Island-Style
Pointing Device: Touchpad
I/O Ports:
USB 3.0: 1
USB 2.0: 2
VGA: 1
RJ-45: 1
Combo Headphone/Mic Jack: 1
Operating System:
Genuine Windows 8 (64-bit)
11.89"(W) x 1.01"(H) x 7.87"(D)
2.73 lbs

In the box:

  • Asus X200CA-HCL1104G Dual-Core Laptop with 11.6" HD LED Touchscreen
  • AC Adapter

I'm Clonely

Heyyyy pretty lady, why don't you take off that mask and kiss me iconically in Times Square? What, are you upset by my overt objectification of your sexuality? It's a different time, baby! A time when men could be men, which is another way of saying "men could be jerks."

I'm a member of the Greatest Generation, and you're just a dime-a-dozen broad from Jersey City with a blaster and a short skirt. There are a hundred other dames just like you. In fact, there are literally tens of thousands of exact replicas of you -- clones -- that I could verbally harass if I wanted. But I choose you.

So whattaya say, sweetie? Will you kick off those heels, take off that mask, and give it a go with this 1940s post-war male stereotype?

Say, you're pretty tall for a -- *BAM*

Bragan' Rights

It's like, "We're doing this for you, Michigan!" But if I try walking around Detroit with an open bottle of 2012 Braganini Reserve Chardonnay in either hand - wines made in Paw Paw, Michigan, for crying out loud - it's considered embarrassing! Can you believe that?

Well, I'm sorry everyone! Sorry that you have to take everything at face value! There's a man drinking wine straight from the bottle on your lawn? Well, whatever you do, don't stop to think, "Hey, maybe that Chardonnay has a balance of both oak and steel, lending aromas of vanilla, spice and toast from the oak and apple and tropical fruit flavors from the tanks. Thank you, lonely Michigan wine evangelist, for boosting my self-esteem as a Michigander. I needed that - no, we all needed that." No, that would be way too open-minded of you. Instead just call the cops, like everyone else!

Ugh! Makes me sick! The hypocrisy, I mean, not the St. Julian wines.

Winery Retail Price: $90.00
Average Shipping: $24.00
Woot Shipping: (-$5.00)
Total MSRP: $109.00

Food Pairing: Aged Cheese, Pork Roast or Chops, Pasta with White Sauce, Soft Cheese, Shellfish

  • Acid: 7.9 grams per Liter
  • pH: 3.26
  • Residual Sugar: 0.3%
  • Varietals: Chardonnay
  • Alcohol: 13%
  • Cases: 614

That's How It Starts

"Get him the character hoodie," you said. "He'll look absolutely adorable," you said. What's the worst that could happen?

Fast-forward 35 years. Your job-holding, society-contributing son now stands before you, covered head-to-toe in silicone scales. He communicates in chirps and clicks, and insists you refer to him as "Chalakon." Yes. Your son is a merman.

Not a real merman, of course, because those don't exist. But he is a real-life PhD in Education earner and tenured college professor who just happens to enjoy attending conventions dressed as a mythical fish beast.

And it all started with that damn hoodie you bought him when he was 4. Everyone telling him how adorable he looked all made up like his favorite character. It was that adoration and praise that cemented his future. You're (mostly) OK with it. He's made a lot of good friends, and he's not hurting anyone. Besides, it could have been a lot worse. You almost bought him that clown hoodie instead.

Character Hoodies
Body Fabric: 60% cotton / 40% polyester
Country of Origin: China
Care: - Machine Wash Cold w/Like Colors
- Only Non-Chlorine Bleach When Needed
- Tumble Dry Low
- Cool Iron if Needed
- Do NOT Iron Design

In the box:

Choose your character and size

  • (1) Child's Mickey Mouse Hoodie

~ Or ~

  • (1) Child's Jake and the Neverland Pirates Hoodie

~ Or ~

  • (1) Child's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Hoodie

~ Or ~

  • (1) Child's Transformer's Optimus Prime Hoodie

Wave, Hello

Oh, sure, everyone's paying attention to the big ol' gravity wave the size of the universe that some astronomer types just found. Hooray for big ol' waves! Let's allll rush out and talk about the hugest waves we've ever seen! But you know what, you wave hipsters? Some of us are going to stay behind on this journey. Some of us prefer the glory that is... the microwave.

But sure, sure. Go nuts about that gravity thing. You proved the universe exists, well done for you. Meanwhile, I'LL be here with a Panasonic Microwave, doing useful things like cooking food and heating drinks and charging my iPhone. Wait... what do you mean that last one was a fake? Really?


Panasonic NN-SA651S Microwave - 1.2-Cubic Foot
Installation: Counter Top
Oven Capacity: 1.2 cu. ft.
Cooking Power: 1200 Watts
Turntable Dimensions: 13.5"
Display Panel: 4-Digit Display
Power Setting: 10 Levels
Multi-Stage Cooking: 3 Stages
Automatic Turntable: Revolving & Removable
Menu Action Screen: Interactive Multi-Lingual
Power Requirements: 120V 60Hz; 12.7A, 1460 Watts; AC only
Exterior Dimensions H x W x D (in.): 12 1/4 x 20 11/16 x 15 13/16
Cavity Dimensions H x W x D (in.): 9 15/16 x 13 15/16 x 14 3/8
Weight: 30.8 lbs.
Panasonic NN-SN797S Microwave - 1.6-Cubic Foot
Installation: Counter Top or Built-in
Oven Capacity: 1.6 cu. ft.
Cooking Power: 1250W
Turntable Dimensions: 15"
Display Panel: 6-Digit Expanded Display
Power Settings: 10 Levels
Multi-Stage Cooking: 5 Stages
Automatic Turntable: Removable, Revolving Turntable
Multi-Lingual Menu Action Screen: Yes
Power Requirements : 120V 60Hz, 12.7A
1480W, AC only
Exterior Dimensions
H x W x D (in.)
12 x 21 7/8 x 19 7/16
Cavity Dimensions
H x W x D (in.)
9 x 16 7/16 x 18 1/2
Weight: 31.1 lbs.
Panasonic NN-SN778S Microwave - 1.6-Cubic Foot
Installation: Counter Top
Over Capacity: 1.6 cu. ft.
Cooking Power: 1250W
Exterior Dimensions
H x W x D (in.)
12 x 21 7/8 x 19 7/16
Cavity Dimensions
H x W x D (in.)
9 x 16 7/16 x 18 1/2
Panasonic NN-T945SF Microwave - 2.2-Cubic Foot
Installation: Counter Top or Built-in
Oven Capacity: 2.2 cu. ft.
Cooking Power: 1250 W
Exterior Dimensions
H x W x D (in.)
14 x 23 7/8 x 19 7/16
Cavity Dimensions
H x W x D (in.)
10 15/16 x 18 7/16 x 18 1/2

In the Box:

Your Choice:

  • (1) Panasonic NN-SA651S Microwave - 1.2-Cubic Foot


  • (1) Panasonic NN-SN797S Microwave - 1.6-Cubic Foot


  • (1) Panasonic NN-SN778S Microwave - 1.6-Cubic Foot


  • (1) Panasonic NN-T945SF Microwave - 2.2-Cubic Foot

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