Faucets were bred to fight bears for sport in the seventeenth century.
While bears and faucets may have limited interactions in the wild, bears and modern domestic faucets have no inherent animosity.
Pull-Down faucets were present in the Garden of Eden and contributed to the fall of man.
There is no evidence in any ancient scripture that the serpent of Eden was made of either polished chrome or satin nickel.
Kingston Brass Single Handle Sprayer Faucets were responsible for the much-publicized 2005 break-up of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston.
After nearly five years of marriage, Aniston and Pitt divorced citing irreconcilable differences. The involvement of any faucets is deemed to be purely platonic.
If you run water backwards through a Kingston Brass faucet, it will summon Grannus, Celtic god of springs, who will curse you with a plague.
This is only true of our competitors' fixtures.
The Kingston Brass Pull-Down Kitchen Faucet was the inspiration for the 1977 science fiction horror film Demon Seed.
This has actually been neither confirmed nor fully disproved.
|Water Flow:||2.2 GPM @ 60 PSI|
In the Box:
- (1) Kingston Brass Single Lever Handle Kitchen Faucet with Pull-Down Sprayer
Short-Term Memory Swing
"Hi, are you Zach?"
It's actually Zack. Or maybe Zak. I can't remember just now.
"OK, well ... hi Zack. Or Zak. I'm Tom. Are you ready for your golf lesson?"
Oh yes! I'm very excited for my golf lesson. Who are you again?
"Oh. Uh. I'm Tom."
Hi Tom. I'm Zack or Zak. I have a golf lesson today. I'm just waiting for the instructor.
"Yeah, that's me. Listen ... are you OK?"
Oh boy. I must be doing it again. Did I forget who you are?
"Uh, yeah. What's going on?"
Well you see, I've been trying to learn how to play golf for a long time now.
Only, I haven't quite perfected my swing, so I keep hitting myself in the head with the club.
So yeah. I think maybe last time was one time too many.
"Well, OK then. I think I've got just what you need. This is an Original Golf Memory Swing. It'll help you perfect your swing so that doesn't happen again."
So what doesn't happen again?
"So you don't hit your head with your golf club."
Oh hi there! I'm Zach. Are you here for a SCUBA lesson, too?
In the box:
(1) Original Golf Memory Swing
clothes make the man
Hello! Welcome to my humble home. Why, yes, it is made entirely out of Doctor Who apparel! Ha ha, it IS surprisingly spacious! And also suffocatingly dark. Have a seat on the sofa. Ah, well spotted, it's also made of Doctor Who apparel! Fun fact: That throw pillow you're holding is stuffed with locks of David Tennant's hair! NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, THAT'S HOW.
Aaaanyway, have a look at the garage! Correct, I did create a mid-range sport utility vehicle out of Doctor Who apparel! The mileage is great! I drive it every morning to my shop. Yes, I run my own business. It's made out of Doctor Who apparel, naturally. What sort of business? It's a doughnut shop called "WhoDoughnut." ISN'T THAT PRECIOUS? They mentioned it once on Buzzfeed. I think the name of the article was "These Doctor Who fans desperately need psychological intervention because." Talk about free advertising!
Aaaaaaaaaanyway, it's about time to put some Doctor Who apparel on the stove and get dinner ready for the children, whom I have also crafted from Doctor Who apparel. Then I have to walk the dog (Doctor Who apparel) and kiss my spouse (Doctor Who apparel) and then get in my spaceship (Doctor Who apparel) and fly off to my planet (Doctor Who apparel) where I will finally, FINALLY feel like I belong.
So you've got a hot date, and you want to bring a gift that's sure to make an impression. You settle on a gift horse, because, you figure, who doesn't like horses?
Well, you have two possibilities:
1) Bring an actual horse.
2) Bring this Iron Horse Valentine's Day Magnum.
Now, we admittedly have a bias because we're selling the aforementioned magnum right now, but honestly, all biases aside, we do think your date will appreciate the wine more.
Rather than having a large animal prancing through the house, crashing china to the ground, and destroying the boudoir, you get aromas of cassis, licorice, blackberry, red cherry, raspberry and roasting herbs accompanying the flavors of cola nut, dark berry, blackberry and dried herbs. Maybe you prefer the path of property damage, but if not, we consider the magnum to be a pretty nice option.
Oh, and if you want, you can look THIS gift horse in the mouth all you want, though, we're not really sure where that bit is located on the bottle. That'll be a fun little icebreaker to chat about during your date, as opposed to the opening line, "Do you know how to get horse manure out of linen?"
Happy Valentine's Day!
- Harvest Dates: September 12 - October 4, 2012
- Date Bottled: August, 2013
- Release Date: November, 2014
- Total Production: 250 Cases
- Appellation: Green Valley of Russian River Valley
- Blend: 100% Pinot Noir
- Alcohol: 13.8% v/v
- Acidity: .50 g/100ml
- Residual Sugar: >0.2 g/100ml (dry)
- pH: 3.66
- Malolactic Fermentation: 100%
- Barrels: Average age of barrels 3 years, 100% French, mainly central France, fire bent, medium plus toast.
Car repairs might be the single most annoying/inconvenient/expensive thing you'll deal with in your lifetime. And it's usually not even the parts that cost. It's the labor. If only you could find a qualified and eager mechanic to do the work for free (or at the very most, a cookie or two.)
Oh wait. You actually birthed one! He or she just doesn't know it yet. They'll think it's all fun and games when you bring in this Theo Klein Service Car Station. Huzzah! A new toy! But the truth is, kids. You're in training.
We figure you've got at least three to five years till your dexterity reaches full potential, but before your hands are too big to fit in tight spaces. So step on up, squirt. Here's a wrench. Now show momma what you can do.
|Service Car Station|
Car ~ 16" L x 13" W x 21" H
Screwdrivers ~ 4.25" L x 1" D
Wrench ~ 3.75" L x 1" W x .5" H
|Batteries:||8 "AAA's" (not included)|
|Country of Origin:||China|
In the Box:
- (1) Theo Klein Service Car Station
- (2) Screwdrivers
- (1) Wrench
The long night of watching old movies. The long day when you can't shake that fever. The long afternoon with someone you love. The long evening when nobody understands you but a tub of ice cream. The long midday before you get your grades. The long twilight before you meet your future in-laws. These are the days and times when you'll be needing to lie down, and when you'll be happiest that your mattress is soft, comfy and cool.
Yes, it'll be the place where you sleep, but you won't be noticing much when you're asleep. But when you're sad, or mad, or stressed, or happy, or emotional, that's when you'll be aware if your mattress is uncomfortable.
We all turn to our beds in times of need. So make sure said bed is ready to support you. Otherwise, what's the point? Without a good bed, you might as well just sleep on the couch and rent out the bedroom to drifters.
In the Box:
- (1) PuraSleep LF-10219 10 Inch CoolFlow Matrress- Pick Size